Sometimes our spiritual growth happens so slowly and over such time that we don’t really notice it until something occurs to bring into focus just how much we have changed. I had such an experience this past week.
Twenty years ago I owned a small motorcycle—and I loved it. Riding on two wheels feels close to flying to me—soaring through the wind without the enclosure of a steel shell we commonly call “the car.” For two of those ten years I drove it over the Pali Highway daily to Hawaii Loa College, getting my degree in nursing. The road is winding, heavily trafficked and almost always wet from the more than frequent mountain rain. It was dangerous to be sure, however, that never caused me any serious concern. But, I was severely phobic about taking the motorcycle-driving test. So for the entire ten years, I never had a license—not even a learner’s permit!
I was sober at that time, and drove carefully, so thankfully I was never cited, and I always wore a helmet.
How I have changed—and didn’t even “try!”
For a while now, I’ve been wanting another motorcycle; Hawaii is the perfect place to own and ride. I looked for the right size and model, and last week, found it. I bought the used, Honda Night Hawk, and without a moment’s hesitation, knew I was going to take all the tests! There was no internal argument, no need to rationalize with myself and no big struggle—I just assumed I would “do the right thing” this time…and I have. Today I passed the first exam and received my official learner’s permit, which makes me ‘legal.”
I’m going to spend some time and wonder where the fear went. I want to reflect and ponder on the deep change that has given me unbidden strength and acceptance. I don’t know where all that will lead aside from some private insight, but I already know that I have appreciation for all that has been unfolding in my life; overcoming obstacles I’m not yet even aware of.
I’m also going to wonder on the many ways all of us are maturing, healing and growing into our wholeness and are unaware until some situation arises that calls us to respond in a better way—and we will–automatically, naturally, with grace and peace.